Welcome aboard, me hearties! I’ve always had a soft spot for pirate humor, the kind that makes you shout “Arrr!” with laughter. In this treasure chest of 100 original pirate jokes, you’ll find sea-faring lingo, and playful quips that evoke images of hidden booty and sailing adventures. So grab your eyepatch and set sail into the world of pure, original pirate fun.
100 Pirate Jokes
- Why did the pirate refuse to say “Hello”?
He only knew how to say “Ahoy!”
- What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
“Aye, matey!”
- How do pirates prefer to communicate?
Aye to aye.
- Why did the pirate go to school?
To improve his arrr-ticulation.
- What is a pirate’s favorite letter?
You might think it’s R, but his first love be the C.
- Why don’t pirates take a bath before sailing?
They’d rather hit the high seas!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise?
The plank.
- How did the pirate get rich?
By investing in booty calls.
- Why did the pirate join the band?
Because he had the best arr-gument!
- What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
A rookie.
- How do pirates prefer their coffee?
With plenty of “Arrr” and cream.
- What did the pirate say to the zombie?
“You’re a dead man walking the plank!”
- Why did the pirate bring string to the bar?
He wanted to tie one on!
- How do pirates know they are getting old?
When they start referring to “booty” as memories.
- What do you call a pirate’s favorite dessert?
Rum cake.
- Why did the pirate sit on a clock?
He wanted to be on time for his treasure hunt.
- What is a pirate’s favorite kind of workout?
Lifting the anchor!
- How did the pirate fix his broken ship?
With duct tape and a lot of “Arrr!”
- What did the pirate say to his parrot?
“Squawk if you love treasure!”
- Why did the pirate refuse to fight?
He didn’t want to walk the talk.
- What do you call a pirate who skips class?
Captain Hooky.
- How do pirates keep their pants up?
With a buckle made of gold.
- Why are pirates great at poker?
They know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em.
- What did the pirate say at his job interview?
“I’m ready to plunder these accounts!”
- How did the pirate get his computer to work?
By installing a sea-shell.
- What do pirates use to clean their ships?
A mop-arrr.
- Why did the pirate bring a map to the party?
To chart the course for fun.
- What’s a pirate’s favorite snack?
Goldfish crackers!
- How do pirates stay in shape?
By swabbing the deck and lifting barrels.
- What did the pirate say when he found treasure?
“Shiver me timbers, this is gold!”
- Why did the pirate start a blog?
To share his tales of high seas and higher puns.
- What do pirates call their mail?
Treasure chests.
- How do you compliment a pirate?
“You’re one fine buccaneer!”
- Why do pirates love social media?
They always share the latest booty.
- What’s a pirate’s favorite social network?
Arr-Instagram.
- How do pirates greet each other on the internet?
“Yo-ho-ho and a meme!”
- Why did the pirate refuse to use a smartphone?
He preferred his “sea-mail.”
- What do you call a pirate who tells jokes on Twitter?
A meme-buccaneer.
- How does a pirate fix his Wi-Fi?
By resetting his router with a hearty “Arrr!”
- What did the pirate say when his online order arrived?
“This treasure be delivered on time!”
- What is a pirate’s favorite fruit?
Arranges.
- Why did the pirate go to the seafood restaurant?
To get his daily dose of scales.
- What do you call a pirate’s lunch?
A treasure chest sandwich.
- How does a pirate eat his dinner?
With a fork and a cutlass!
- What did the pirate say when offered extra cheese?
“That’s a gouda booty!”
- Why did the pirate become a chef?
He loved to serve up a hearty “ARR-RUB!”
- How do pirates season their food?
With a pinch of salt and a dash of rum.
- What’s a pirate’s favorite vegetable?
Carrot, as in “carrot on, matey!”
- Why did the pirate bring a picnic to the ship?
To have a booty brunch.
- How do pirates toast their meals?
“Here’s to treasure and tasty pleasure!”
- What’s a pirate’s favorite gadget?
A compass with extra bling.
- How do pirates pay their tech bills?
In pieces of eight.
- What did the pirate say to his smartphone?
“You’re the captain of my apps!”
- Why did the pirate get a new laptop?
Because his old one was overboard.
- What do you call a pirate’s favorite online store?
Arrmazon.
- How do pirates secure their online data?
With a strong “sea-firewall.”
- What’s a pirate’s favorite website?
One that’s full of treasure maps!
- Why did the pirate join a coding bootcamp?
To learn the language of the digital sea.
- What did the pirate say when his tech broke down?
“I’m marooned in error!”
- How do pirates stream their favorite shows?
On a high-speed vessel, naturally!
- What did the pirate say to the cat on board?
“You’re the purr-fect matey!”
- Why do pirates love parades?
They’re full of swashbuckling animals.
- What do you call a pirate’s favorite animal?
A sea-lion!
- How did the pirate pet his turtle?
With a gentle “Arrr-tickle.”
- What do you call a group of pirate puppies?
A mutiny of mutts.
- Why did the pirate adopt a parrot?
He needed a wingman.
- What did the pirate say to the dolphin?
“You’re flipping fantastic!”
- How do pirate hamsters exercise?
By running on a tiny plank.
- What do you call a lazy pirate dog?
A buccaneer that loves to snooze.
- How do pirates compliment their animal friends?
“You’re the treasure of my deck!”
- What did the pirate say when his joke fell flat?
“That one’s walking the plank.”
- Why did the pirate blush?
Because his jokes were too booty-ful.
- What’s a pirate’s least favorite joke?
One that’s too fishy.
- How does a pirate express embarrassment?
With a loud “Arrrgh!”
- What do you call a pirate’s awkward moment?
A shipwreck of humor.
- Why did the pirate apologize?
He realized his joke was a little overboard.
- How do pirates handle a failed pun?
They simply bury it with the treasure.
- What did the pirate say to his cringey joke?
“You’re too much to handle!”
- Why do pirates sometimes cringe at their own jokes?
They’re always a bit off the starboard.
- How do you know a pirate’s joke is cringeworthy? When even the parrot squawks in disapproval.
- I’m on a seafood diet see food,
then say “Arrr!”
- My treasure map led me to a joke shop,
now my humor is truly priceless.
- When life gets rough,
I just remember: there’s always another treasure waiting.
- I asked the captain for advice,
he said, “Keep your humor as fresh as the ocean breeze.”
- I told a joke to the crew and the ship rocked with laughter.
- I tried to sail into a joke,
turns out I was all washed up.
- The ocean told me a secret:
the best jokes are buried deep.
- I always say,
“Better a hearty laugh than a mutiny on board!”
- Even on stormy nights,
my pirate jokes shine like buried gold.
- Nothing beats the thrill of sharing a joke over the vast,
wild sea.
- I once met a pirate with no sense of humor,
he was all bark and no bite.
- When my jokes hit the mark,
it’s like finding treasure in the deep blue.
- I keep my jokes sharp,
like a cutlass in the hands of a true buccaneer.
- Every time I share a joke,
I feel the spirit of the high seas guiding me.
- I treasure every laugh like a chest of gold doubloons.
- I believe that every pirate has a funny bone,
just waiting to be tickled.
- Sharing a joke is like hoisting the sails:
it lifts your spirit.
- My favorite treasure isn’t gold,
it’s the sound of laughter on deck.
- I set out to create jokes that are as boundless as the ocean.
- In the end, every joke is a voyage,
a journey filled with laughter and adventure.
Conclusion
Thank you for joining me on this merry voyage through 100 original pirate jokes. I poured my heart into crafting these puns and playful quips just for you, inspired by the timeless allure of pirate life and the thrill of discovering hidden treasures. I hope these jokes bring a smile to your face and remind you that humor, like the vast, unpredictable sea, is always an adventure worth sharing. So next time you hear the call of the ocean, remember to laugh, share a joke, and keep the pirate spirit alive.
My name is Azeem. I am a passionate digital marketer, content writer and expert in search engine optimization. I have more than 3 years of experience to help businesses like yours to boost their online presence. At whoisrichest, I dive into the networth of your favourite celebrities, athletes, and influencers, blending facts with touch of humor to keep you entertained and informed.
